Dreary Days

I am always excited for fireplace weather. I love finding a cozy spot with hot food and/or a drink and a good show or book. However when the dreary weather sticks around for a while my bones start to ache and my mood begins to darken. I get down in the dumps. The more I am overshadowed and the less I get to see and feel the sunshine, the more hopeless I feel. I am sure I am not alone in this.

The same goes for the “weather” in my mind. The drearier my thoughts the darker my mood. The sunnier my thoughts the lighter my mood. When the negativity begins to pile up within my thought pattern, the heavier and hardier it is to budge free. Depression is no joke. I picture a deep and black hole and me hanging from the edge reaching up for God’s hand. Once I fall into that hole it is a nearly unbearable feat to climb back out. Thankfully, I have found a ladder. One made from pure sunlight fashioned by my savior. In order to ascend from the depths I must cancel out negativity with positivity. Replace dreary thoughts with sunny thoughts. Time and time again until my thought pattern is left with clear skies. I throw out self pity and bring in gratitude. I pay attention as I climb out and notice what helped drag me into the dark. Was it not sleeping well? Was it something stressful looming over my head? Was it poor eating habits? Could my hormones be responsible? Was it is the weather? Is my fibromyalgia attacking me?…etc. Then once the culprit or culprits are discovered it is important to start problem solving. Now if there is something I have no control over then I must face the sunshine with unwavering eyes and know God will handle it for me.

My son recently fell into a worrying habit. He worried about things he could control and things he could not. Death, grades, girls, responsibility, failures…etc. Once he started down that road it became difficult to turn back. I have been blessed with experience with this matter. I sat him down and explained about the dark hole and how to stay out of it and more crucial, how to climb out if needed.  I think at this age it can be hard to comprehend “God”. Well maybe that is true for all ages. I helped him see that God is personal. He could believe in God however he wishes as long as he could comfortably confide in him in times of need and also be able to express gratitude on a daily bases. We talked about thought patterns and how to break them. I made it clear it would take time and to not give up. Through repetition he created this habit and through repetition he could break it.

I struggle, you struggle, he struggles, she struggles, and we all struggle. It is how you respond in times of struggle that matters. We go through weather changes in our lives. We will have sunny, clear days, foggy and wet, dreary days, windy and out of control days, stormy days, cold and hot, and at some points, a few disasters. Enduring the weather cycles of life is never ending. Those who continue to fight have more times of peace and joy, while those who wallow in negativity instead of getting to their feet, ready for battle, will always find ways to ruin or elude their own happiness.

So as I type this blog with a heavy heart of my own, I will end it ready to seek out sunshine in my life with bright thoughts. I will go do something that has been looming over me, eat a healthy meal (hot vegetable soup!), and then maybe take a hot bath to wash off any remaining negativity and then snuggle up by the fire. I will not only survive this weather, I plan to enjoy it.

-with luv