We live in a society that shoves perfection down our throats.
“She is too big or too small.”- “He is stuck up or he is a flirt.”- “That kid is too quiet or too rambunctious.”- “Not like that, it’s like this.”- “She or he finally reached their highest dream, they must have cheated their way up.”
It goes on and on and on…
I have fallen into this perfection trap countless times. I mentally have to remind myself to be “ok” with not being perfect. My anxiety is firmly attached to the illusion of perfection. When my life is out of careful order and upstanding I start having anxiety attacks. The restlessness, the skin crawling, the irritability, the struggle to take in a full breath, and if I can’t get a hold on it , the inevitable hyperventilation.
I used to be a fearless person. A person who could walk into a room and talk to whoever I want, about whatever I please. Now my perfectionism watches my every move. Judges my walk, my look, my reactions, other’s reactions, how others perceive me, all until I am too anxious to be in a room full of people. The same goes for my life period. The nasty illusion of perfection keeps a close eye on my house, my kids, my husband, and my contribution to life. It truly wears a person down. Pounds them into the ground and sets a huge, heavy pile of imperfection right on top.
I have come to terms with my imperfections. God made me with my very own flaws and weaknesses that make me an individual. However, erasing years of behavior is not an easy feat. One must seek out reactions and actions that fall back into the perfection trap. Hardest of all they must accept their flaws and decide to celebrate them. I will have to learn to not constantly search out the incorrect and to then see my failures as lessons I needed to learn; my weakest moments as part of a cycle in life.
My fear is on high alert as I type this knowing that I am putting a weakness of mine out for the world to view and judge. My hope in this, though, is that this blog will reach another who is suffering from the illusion of perfection. We must believe together that our imperfections are in actuality our biggest attributes. They enable us to become unique and grow. They are what set us aside from the population. We can continue to strive to be our best version of ourselves but we must allow a place for failure and weakness, because trying at perfection will only bring us down and cripple us.
Let’s work together whoever reads this to quell our judgements and to support one another, so our failures will lead to successes and our flaws can become cherished parts of each one of us. Don’t give up! We can learn a new way.
Philippians 4:13 – I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.